Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The gift of a birthday

Today, after working out at our fantabulous gym, my sister in law, Becca, asked me what I wanted for my birthday. My birthday is swiftly approaching- March 6th. I will be 32. The question threw me because I realized when she asked it that I haven't really given much thought to my birthday.

I mean, I've been aware of it, I just wasn't tracking how soon it was.

I love my birthdays. They have never been a source of 'OH SHIT I'M GETTING OLDER' stress or angst. I loved turning 30. My 20's were quite a decade during which I learned a lot. I was (and am) psyched about my 30's. They already feel more solid and steady than my 20's... Or, I should say that I feel more steady now than I did when I was younger.

I use my birthdays the way some people use NYE. I make birthday resolutions; I reflect on the preceding year and set goals for the next year. Clearly, I haven't started thinking about this yet this year. When I look back now at this past (almost) year the first word that comes to mind is FULL. It has been a year full of life- challenging, beautiful, scary, humbling, hilarious life. Between now and my birthday, I definitely have some reflecting to do for my goals for next year.

As for what I want for my birthday...
At the time, I made a joke about wanting the assurance of a job upon graduation. But then I started to think about it, and I realized that I really don't want anything. Nothing material, at least. I'm sure if I thought long and hard I could up with some items that would be really cool to have, but I can't think of anything that I really really want right now.

The weekend of my birthday, James and I will be in the DC/MD area visiting with family. I'm pretty excited about this experiential birthday gift to myself.

Maybe that's it... Yes, I know what I want for my birthday.

I want to be. To love. To laugh. To hug. To talk (perhaps while mildly intoxicated) to friends and family who call or who are with me to celebrate. I want to eat yummy food and listen to good music. I want to squeeze my husband's hand in happiness and excitement/anticipation of the year to come. I want to live in the moment, breathe deeply and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

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