Friday, May 24, 2013

You gotta have faith

Last month the attack on the Boston marathon shook the world. Some folks I know were there- physically and emotionally changed forever. I watched the coverage, horrified.

Two nights ago, I found out that a former nursing student of mine and his wife were in a terrible car accident over the weekend. His wife died in the crash and he is in critical condition in an induced coma. The news stunned me and broke my heart. After finding out, I sat by Gabe's bed silently crying, watching him sleep. Peaceful. Breathing in. Breathing out.

In light of these events I am having a hard time leaving my family. The awful randomness of tragedy haunts me. Suddenly leaving the house in the morning feels like an act of faith. The 'what if's overwhelm me in moments. As I left for work yesterday, I choked back tears. I began to appreciate why some people become safety neurotics, never leaving their homes.

The world can be a scary place.

Last night, James and I talked about the car accident. He said he tries really hard to appreciate every day as a gift. I love this idea. But I find it hard sometimes to embrace.

And then my son smiles at me. Or James kisses me. Or one of my siblings call. And I am home. And I hold onto the warmth from my family and know that because of them I am strong. 

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. But I know that whatever it is, I am here, ready with support and love around me. 

And for that I am grateful.

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