Yesterday was Friday- I was home but working. I had two work conference call meetings.
They exhausted me.
My colleagues and I are trying to maintain a team while completely disjointed into separate groups working different days and shifts.
Trying to get everyone on the same page through screens is fucking challenging and exhausting.
We are all learning new ways of doing things and trying to stay on top of the changes as they happen.
There is anger, confusion, worry.
Today, J and I decided on some more clear differentiations between the 'week' and the 'weekend' for the kids. One of them being no iPads on the weekend days.
The kids were pissed about that.
I feel like baseline these days I am one bad moment away from a breakdown.
Sometimes I just want to scream and throw things.
I wish things were clearer at work.
I'm so mad this happening.
I'm so scared and so so so angry.
I've been so anxious about not being able to find toilet paper- our stores have been out. J got some yesterday. It didn't help me feel less anxious. Damn toilet paper.
This article sums up the feelings we are all having right now. Having lived with anxiety throughout my life, the term anticipatory grief was new to me. But so accurate.
This is temporary, though it does not feel like that now.
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